If you can learn how to develop self-awareness, you’ll experience better relationships, improved leadership, confidence, and executive presence. Self-awareness is essentially the ability to see yourself as others might and is an essential leadership skill. It’s the foundation of emotional intelligence and the key to showing up authentically.
How to Develop Self-Awareness with Meditation
The first step is to develop a clear, focused ability to place your attention where you want and to not be distracted by thoughts or emotions. A basic mindfulness practice will accomplish this and takes only 15 minutes a day. In terms of self-awareness, meditation does two main things.
- It will allow you to see yourself objectively, and give you the ability to see yourself as others might. Over time, you will develop the ability to observe yourself objectively, and thus see behaviors and thoughts that may not be serving you.
- Meditation will create a gap between stimulus and response. So when you get cut off in traffic, you’ll have space between the event and your reaction. With practice, you’ll notice a flush of anger but you’ll be able to choose whether to act out of that anger or from a more productive place.
How to Develop Self-Awareness with a Personality Assessment
Actually, take a few of them. I prefer the Enneagram as it has many layers of understanding and includes subtle shades of personality differences.
Meyers-Briggs is also good, as is Strengths Finder. Spend some time with the results, looking for resonance. Ask someone close to you for their thoughts on how well the results describe you. What is your response to the results? This can often tell you a great deal about yourself.
Make two lists from the results. One contains the traits that you definitely exhibit. These are the ones that made you say “Oh yeah, that’s me to a tee.” Then make a second list of the traits that you’re not sure of. Pay close attention to these and see if you catch yourself manifesting these traits over time.
Work with a coach
Coaches are specifically trained to help you identify patterns of thought or behavior that are limiting your potential, and to build actions and practices that help you move past them. It can be done internally by managers, but few are trained in coaching. The power differential between a manager and a team member hinders trust and transparency, making it difficult to create an environment of absolute safety.
Ask for Regular Feedback
Ideally, the culture you’re creating will include regular feedback as part of weekly one-on-one meetings. It’s tricky when you’re the CEO though. Letting your team know that you will welcome any feedback is a start. It’s hard for employees to do this though. If you do get feedback from them, always thank them and take it to heart. Do not get defensive, keep your cool and listen openly. Even if the feedback comes in hot, you need to respond with a cool head and an attitude of “feedback is a gift.”
Another option is a 360-degree feedback process. While there are many options available to do it yourself, it’s best to work with a leadership consultant to administer and manage the process. Employees will be much more open and honest when they know there is no chance that the boss will figure out who wrote what.
Hopefully you’ve learned some tips on how to develop self-awareness. Self-awareness is an ongoing process of self-discovery and personal development. Like any other skill, it needs to be practiced. Unlike a lot of skills, it needs to be practiced constantly, and in situations where you may not feel like practicing anything except ripping your hair out. These tips should get you on your way. Remember to ask for help from a trusted peer or coach if you need it.
Matt McLaughlin helps conscious companies build transformational leaders and teams. He has over 20 years of experience building high-performance teams and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years. He brings a deep passion for companies that foster social and environmental sustainability and views business as a crucial component of societal change.
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