Last weekend, I drove a short way into Boulder, Colorado. To the King Soopers supermarket where 10 people lost their lives in a burst of senseless violence. I needed to see it, to be there in person. The chain-link fence surrounding the parking lot and bordering the sidewalk was covered with flowers, prayer flags, crosses, and candles. A lane of traffic was blocked off to allow the crowd to walk the length of the fence.
I felt a heavy pressure, a weight bearing down on me. This is as real as it gets. The stakes don’t get any higher, and losses don’t get any deeper. Taking in the sorrow, grief, and anguish, and sending back thoughts of love, peace, and comfort, I thought about what we can learn from this.
It’s time for leadership that embodies compassion and creates communities of support, inclusion, and safety. Whether it’s a high school sports team, a supermarket staff, or a corporate meeting, compassion and community are the foundations of trust and safety.
What is Compassion?
Compassion and empathy are often misunderstood. Where empathy refers to the ability to take in and understand the feelings of others, compassion includes the desire to help. As a leader, this means understanding and helping your team grow and overcome challenges, from their perspective.
This is where some coaching can help. Why does the team member want to improve? What is the result they want? What’s stopping them from getting there? And… what can you do to help? This is an opportunity to develop a true partnership, where you are both working together to create a better situation for the team member. With this comes trust, loyalty, and confidence.
Building Community
What role does community play in all of this? If you can build a compassionate relationship with your team member, imagine what an entire culture of compassion would look like. What if every member of your organization brought compassion to every conversation? Disagreements turn into discussions filled with curiosity, respect, and open minds. Concerns over “territory” and “authority” become inquiries into better ways of accomplishing goals as a community.
In short, differences become opportunities to learn. When, instead of shunning those with whom we disagree, we embrace them and explore the differences, entirely new possibilities emerge. When we create a community of compassion, nobody feels left out. Feelings can emerge, and difficult conversations can take place. The alternative brings isolation, anger, and fear, which leads to disengagement, turnover, low morale, or worse.
It’s time to embrace differences whether those are race, sexual orientation, age, culture, or even opinions on how to solve a problem. When we take down the barriers around “me and mine” and “you and yours” we open our hearts to what we can build together.
Matt McLaughlin helps conscious companies build transformational leaders and teams. He has over 20 years of experience building high-performance teams and has practiced and taught meditation for 30 years. He brings a deep passion for companies that foster social and environmental sustainability and views business as a crucial component of societal change.
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